other comments , and please share any memories you would like included on this page
These comments are from the online guest book from the funeral home in Pittsburgh.
I took the liberty of copying them here so we could all read them....
CHEETHAM
JOSEPH T.
Joseph T. Cheetham, beloved son of Thomas and Eleanor
Cheetham, died Wed., August 11, 2004 at the age of 23.
He followed his girlfriend Alana Berenson of Queens, NY
as she exited her stalled car in waist high water during
a severe thunderstorm, unaware of the fallen wire behind
the car; both were electrocuted. Joe had completed his
BS in Marine Transportation at SUNY. Maritime College
this August and was returning from taking his Third Mate
Federal Licensing Exam at the time of the accident.
Known for his composure in the face of a crisis we trust
that he acted with assurance and died in God's peace.
Joe will be remembered for his compassion and
generosity, and particularly the attentiveness with
which he cared for his chronically ill sister during his
visits home. He loved to travel and wrote home this
summer that making his third trip to Copenhagen he knew
the city well enough to show Alana and his friends
around. His deep sense of humor delighted family and
friends and his frank, friendly disposition endeared him
to the people he met. A Pgh. native and a graduate of
Winchester Thurston School, Joe will be deeply missed.
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August 27, 2004
I attended WT with Joe and knew him as the quiet young
man who wore a permanently genuine smile. Know that my
heart is with his family and friends. May you all look
to the good times and fond memories during this time of
hardship.
Chaney Stewman (Boston, MA )
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August 23, 2004
To the Cheetham family:
I met Joe when I briefly attended Maritime nearly two
years ago. Although I didn't get to know him more than
as an acquaintance, I knew of him fairly well. He was an
incredible young man, and I feel impoverished by having
not known him better. May God be with you and your
family during this incredibly difficult time.
Alexis Relyea (Windsor, CT )
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August 20, 2004
Dear Mr. & Mrs. Cheetham and family,
Words cannot express our deepest heartfelt sympathy to
you in the tragic death of Joe. He was a terrific young
man who loved his family very much. We got to know you
and Joe when he and our daughter car pooled to and from
SUNY Maritime. Our prayers are with you.
Ivan & Beth Stiffler (Monroeville, PA )
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August 20, 2004
Joe was one of the nicest, most genuine individuals I
ever had the pleasure of meeting. Coxing a crew shell
for three years with him was an honor. He was an
excellent rower and teammate, but his calm and friendly
spirit are what will be missed most.
Andrew Santelli (St. Petersburg, FL )
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August 19, 2004
Dear Cheetham Family:
I knew Joseph for the time he went to Maritime College.
All summer long since he finished cruise he spent his
time in the Library studying for his tests and waiting
for his girlfriend. I will miss him.My prayers are with
you and your Family
Johanna (library clerk)
johanna devlin (bronx, NY )
myjobpc@aol.com
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August 18, 2004
Dear Family:
We arrived home safely today, our hearts still heavy.
Please know that although we had to return to Dayton,
you are all still with us in spirit and prayer. Reading
the guest book provided some solace, to learn more of
memories Joe's friends shared. Love, Vicki/Ray
Vicki and Ray Braun (Dayton OH, OH )
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August 17, 2004
Without a doubt, Joe was one of the most genuinely
warm-hearted friends I have ever known. His warm sense
of humor and optimistic outlook had a significant impact
on my own attitude. I am so heartbroken over his death.
He was truly a wonderful person.
Matthew Engelberg (Chicago, IL )
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August 17, 2004
I have fond Winchester Thurston memories of Joe and
your family. Joe was a wonderful young man and a
pleasure to teach. Please accept my heartfelt
condolences on your loss. You are in my thoughts and
prayers.
Pamela Shaw
Head of School
Canton Country Day School
Pamela Shaw (Canton, OH )
pshaw@ccd-school.org
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August 17, 2004
Dear Cheetham Family,
My husband and I went to Maritime with Joe. It was
wonderful to have someone from Pittsburgh to talk to
about home. He was a great companion on those long trips
back to PA from NYC. By attending NYMC with him, I was
able to see the strong and determined side of Joe. He
will be greatly missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out
to your family and everyone effected by this tragic
loss.
Jill Thijs (Stiffler) (Glen Mills, PA )
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August 17, 2004
I am so sorry for your loss. Joseph was a very nice
well-mannered and kind young man. He worked for us here
at the Maritime Library for a couple of years so I got
to know him. I will surely miss his smile. May God be
with all of you!
Pat Weissert (Bronx, NY )
_______________________________________________
To all the members of the Cheetham Family, Please know
of my sincere sympathy and prayers. Only God knows the
depth of your pain. May He provide each of you with His
peace and comfort in the days, weeks and months ahead.
Be gentle to yourselves and patient as you mourn. The
faculty, students and families of Saint Athanasius
School Family will keep you in our daily prayers.
Gabrielle Yingling
Gabrielle Yingling (Pittsburgh, PA )
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August 17, 2004
Dear Ellie,
Our hearts go out to you and your family in your great
loss. We cannot even imagine your grief, but from
working with you at CCAC, we know of your strength and
courage.
Nancy Moore and John Lucarelli
nancy moore (pittsburgh, PA )
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August 17, 2004
Dear Cheetham Family,
I am very sorry for the loss of your loved one, Joseph.
He was a fine young man who volunteered and participated
in the Junior Ushers program at St. Athanasius several
years ago. He took this responsibility seriously and
helped to make the program a success. We missed him when
he left for Maritime College, but whenever he would
return home, he would always stop to say hello to the
ushers, and give us an update on his progress with the
Merchant Marines. My thoughts and prayers are with Joe
and my deepest sympathy to your family.
Robert Sciotto (Pittsburgh, PA )
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August 17, 2004
Joe was always a wonderful friend to everyone he knew.
You couldn't ask for a nicer person. I knew Joe at
Winchester and am very sorry to hear of his passing. My
thoughts are with you at this time.
Allison Murphey (Pittsburgh, PA )
Allice98@aol.com
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August 17, 2004
Dear Cheatham Family:
I was so saddened to hear of your loss. Like so many
others I remember Joe as a classmate at WT. His quiet
manner and warm presence was always a pleasure to be
near. A tragedy to lose someone so young, our class and
others at WT will always think of Joe with fond memories
and know he will always be in our thoughts.
Megan Harter (Roanoke, VA )
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August 17, 2004
To the Cheetham Family:
I am so very sad about Joe's passing. I am very glad to
have been in his class at Winchester Thurston and to
have known him personally. He was one of the kindest
people I knew, with a contagious laugh and ready smile.
He was always friendly and supportive towards me. I hope
he is looking down from above and seeing how many people
have come together in his memory. He will be greatly
missed.
Amy Hirschman (Pittsburgh, PA )
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August 16, 2004
Dear Bill,
My thoughts and prayers are with you as your mourn the
loss of your loved one. I was so glad you shared with me
your book of family memories this past July when I was
visiting in Pgh.
God's peace to you all.
Pastor LON
Rev. LON R Haack (SAn Francisco, CA )
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August 16, 2004
Dear Cheetham family,
Joe sat behind me in crew for 3 years at WT. I will
always remember how much he and I enjoyed the sport
together and how great a team we were. I am very sad to
hear of your loss. My sympathy to you all. He was truly
a dedicated and nice person overall.
Toby McChesney (Washington, DC )
mcchesne@american.edu
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August 16, 2004
Joe was always smiling and laughing. Though I haven't
seen him for 5 years, these are the images of Joe I
remember most. He was a kind and warm human being, and I
feel honored to have spent two years of high school with
him. He is in my thoughts.
Seth Borland (Boston, MA )
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August 16, 2004
To the Cheetham family,
I attended Winchester Thurston with Joe and his death
will be a great loss to our class. I wish you peace and
comfort in this sad time.
Teresina Cardamone (Boston, MA )
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Dear Cheetham Family,
Joe was in my class at Winchester Thurston, and I
remember him as a very generous and thoughtful young
man. I was very sorry to hear about his death, and offer
my condolences to you all.
Kathryn White (Pittsburgh, PA )
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August 16, 2004
I was at Winchester with Joe and although I never knew
him well, my breif meetings proved him to be a very
funny, very kind person. My deepest condolances to all
of his family and friends.
Claire Blaustein (Pittsburgh, PA )
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August 16, 2004
Mrs. Cheetham & family,
I am very sorry for everyones loss, and I hope god heals
you all fast. I know I wasn't apart of Joseph's family,
but I want everyone to know that I'm praying for you
all.
Dan Donovan (Pittsburgh, PA )
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August 15, 2004
Dear Cheetham family:
I wanted to let you know how sorry I am about Joe. I
offer you my sympathy and prayers during this most
difficult time.
Sincerely,
Sue Siegel - Micucci Family Dentistry (Pittsburgh, PA
)
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Live Journal entry from a friend of Joe's .. I hope you don't mind me posting
this as I was so touched and effected by your frank and sincere feelings for him
and your confusion over the "whys" of it all..
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I am still having a hard time getting over Joe's death.
It doesn't matter that I hadn't seen him in about 5
years. The memory of the time I spent with him and the
type of person he was is stronger than a period of 5
years without him. I think I had something in common
with him in the fact that we were both kind of quiet and
didn't have a particular "group" or clique of friends at
Winchester, but instead had various friends here and
there. But now I have to live without ever being able to
see his smile again, except in pictures. I sort of took
it for granted that I'd see him again at a class reunion
soon. Maybe I'm scared...I'm scared of how it feels (or
doesn't feel) for him to be dead. I mentioned before
that I saw his body and it defies all rational
explanation to me of how a person my age who came to my
16th birthday party, talked with me, laughed with me,
ate with me, was alive like me, could be so still and
devoid of any signs of the person he was. I understand
where a person's mind is when they're laying on their
back, eyes closed in sleep. But when they're laying on
their back, eyes closed in death, I just don't
understand that. It's like an object masquerading as my
friend. Or my friend, robbed of his being at only 23.
It's not fair. It's not right. No matter what people
have said to me, about how he wouldn't want me to be so
sad for him, that he's in a good place now, that he's
watching after me, nothing seems to sink in. I feel like
some greater power is withholding information from me. I
have this tremendous NEED to know that he's actually all
right and that he's not scared, and that he's out there
somewhere. I wish I could have that proof. But I can't.
I'm sure his family is going through similar feelings,
as are his other friends from Winchester and the crew
team, as well as new friends he made at SUNY Maritime.
And I'm sure his girlfriend's family is feeling the same
for her. I hope that if the being that was Joe is still
out there somewhere, albeit separate from their bodies,
that he and Alana are okay and well (although I didn't
know her, I'm sure she was a nice person and had as much
in common with Joe if not more, as I had with him in
high school). I have a lot of "I wish"s and "I should
have"s, but none of that is going to bring him back (and
I wish I could make him be alive again). Maybe if I
contact his family soon I'll feel better. I want to
commemorate his life in any way I can because I feel
infinitesimally bad about this whole thing. I can't
grieve for him forever because that would probably be
bad for me. But right now this is just so hard and I'm
having a hard time not obsessing.
1:30 am - In memory of Joe Cheetham
The memory that a lot of people in our class have of him
is when he cut his thumb in woodcarving and then calmly
passed out. After he got back from the hospital, he
wasn't upset at all, he just laughed about it.
I am happy to have a personal memory of Joe. When I
tried to keep the X-Files discussion club going in high
school, he was usually the only one who showed up, even
when I had a classroom reserved. He brought his lunch
and it became so that it was just me and him having
lunch together once a week and discussing that weekend's
episode. Apparently he talked about it to his mother
because when I met her and told her about it tonight,
she said, "Oh! So you're the X-Files person!" That made
me very happy to know that it mattered that much to him.
It was very sad going to the memorial and viewing
tonight. From further back, he looked asleep, but when I
got closer, he looked like a painted mannequin of the
real Joe. Even his hands looked painted. It's a terrible
thing...I can't believe this had to happen to him,
especially so young, and I feel terrible for his family
too. They had some really nice framed pictures of him on
display. I feel bad that I hadn't kept in contact with
him in the past five years since we graduated; almost as
if it could have prevented what happened. But I know it
couldn't.
Joe, I'm thinking of you.